Friday 10th November 2017 09:07
I've been awake for a while. Just chilling and listening to music, trying to drown out my frantic voice in my head. Sigh I had a strange thought last night. I should've wrote it but I was too cross faded to do fuck. So, I thought that maybe, people who are in comas are just tripping balls. Like they don't even realise they're in a coma, maybe it's some kind of chemical that's released in the brain to give you that coma sensation. But you're just tripping out like fuck, which is when people come out of comas they said weird things or just extremely confused; because their dank trip just ended. Like taking a load of acid and being in a coma, but you're just having a great time. High thoughts 👍
Im starting to gain some motivation, I applied for a job today. Just one, but I think it's better than nothing. Drawing as well, that's anything thing I've started (I've drawn the outline of a face, that is all)
I need to get more practical. Keep me busy. It's a lot easier said than done, especially when all you want to do it bang your head against the wall until you're unconscious. Speaking of unconscious. I stopped myself from blacking out too last night. Again cross faded. Took too big of a hit (MJ, is the only drug I do) and then I felt my body float, everything was black and I heard white noise surrounding me. It felt really surreal, but whilst I was in this strange floaty state, I noticed my heart rate was drastically slowing down and I was like shit I couldn't move my legs, but I could still slightly move my arms and fingers. So I looked pretty strange half blacking out, flailing my arms to keep me up. Good times.
I'm also trying to write a book, but it hasn't gotten very far. It's post-apocalyptic, sci-fi, thriller type. It's not bad, I guess.